If You Could Only See
by Elynsynos 18
Summary: Cindy had died, and left behind a list, checkmarked in red ink except one...
1. First Ending

If You Could Only See

Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron or any characters.

A/N: This is probably my most spontaneous writing out of the three I've done so far. And I'm not sure why I write this one instead of the others I've had in mind for quite some time, but I hope you enjoy it anyhow. One-shot!

Jimmy gazed unfocused, unaware of anything around him; motionlessly standing with the others in a semi-circle around the flowered casket as the monotonous minister went on in his dreary dialogue. His eyes burned in memory; threatening to spill on the black clothes he now wore. Somehow, he managed without a single tear, and the ceremony finished, small talk beginning to spread.

"Hey Jimmy, that was an awfully short funeral. When's the refreshment?" Sheen asked sarcastically, running up to him, followed afterwards by Carl. Jimmy remained silent, head hung down as he walked with his friends to an open area.

"Aw, leave him alone, Sheen. Jimmy doesn't feel like talking." Carl said sympathetically, eyeing Jimmy as if he were suddenly going to combust. Jimmy glanced at him in the corner of his eye then resumed his gloomed self, lost in thoughts. Sheen watched them interact wordlessly and acted crept out. Usually that made them all feel better, and right now that's what they all needed.

"How do you know he doesn't feel like talking unless he says so? Come on Jim, we know you're sad about Cindy's funeral, but that's no reason to get you so down. It's already been a week since it actually happened. And the ceremony was a closure to the mourning. It's time to get back up again and resume our lives." Sheen said the last sentence flatly. Jimmy's continuous dread was frankly getting on everyone's nerves.

Jimmy glared at Sheen and walked faster, making distance between them greater. Carl watched his hunched back uneasily. Jimmy was scaring him. And Sheen no longer cared, insulted by his rude dismissal. He departed from Carl heading to where food was being served. And Carl could only watch his best friends separate, watch Jimmy sit down in the shadows with his back against a wall, looking in his direction but not at him. Watch his best friends lose themselves because of her; because of Cindy. For that, he hated her. Carl frowned and left to find Sheen, not wanting the company of Jimmy. After all, that seemed to be the only thing Jimmy wanted now. To be alone.

* * *

Jimmy pressed his aching head against the cool brick wall, trying to control his rolling insides. Slowly, he pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper from his pocket, flattening the creased with his hand. His vision was blurred, so it was difficult to see the black cursive stretched across. Rubbing his eyes, the paper focused, yet still difficult to read from water that smudged it.

It was the numbered list found from Cindy's evidence box. It became in his possession by theft, but that did not matter to him. Its worth was of more value to him than of the psychologist's analysts anyhow.

The list; it consisted of three checkboxes, two red checks, and three numbers bulleted. Reading it over again, Jimmy's vision blurred and he taken into a flashback.

* * *

Jimmy sat with his friend Carl, talking quietly in the cafeteria while waiting for Sheen to join them. Suddenly the chatter silenced. All eyes were on a certain blonde who entered the cafeteria, her head held high, emerald eyes searching round the tables sides. Her eyes finally rested on Nick Dean's, who met her gaze with a cold glare. Cindy blinked, and then found her way to her chair beside Libby, ignoring the scrutiny of all, burning a hole into the ground.

The tenth grader Nick made his way coolly but determinedly to Cindy then stood behind her, gripping her by the shoulders. He hissed sweetly, "Hey babe. What happened last night? You ran off without a word. I began to wonder if whether you wimped out on me."

Jimmy looked openly with interest. Everyone knew Cindy and Nick were going out, but it seemed true that Cindy did something to displease Nick and something enough to have Nick bring it out in the open. And Jimmy knew little except rumors said that there was a wild party last night, one with only the cool crowd, which was crashed by cops when someone alerted the police to drugs being distributed. Obviously, Nick was not one of those caught because he is here at school today. Jimmy edged closer, being two tables away from the source of now growing tension.

Cindy sent negative vibes in radius. "Get your hands OFF me, loser." Cindy jerked her shoulders out of Nick's grip on the word OFF and stood up on the table's bench, glowering, facing him in fury. Nick balled his hands into fists. There was going to be a fight soon and Jimmy knew Cindy wouldn't win. He had to do something before it was too late.

"We're through Nick. NEVER put your hands on me again." Nick's arm pulled back. Libby stood and tried to move in to defend her. Jimmy's hand slammed on the table and was about to hop over. There was motion but not a sound. And then... Cindy hopped onto the top of the table, walked towards the doors purposefully and hopped down, walking out the doors and through the hall, disappearing around a corner. Nick lowered his fist and uncurled his hand. All eyes were on him. He glowered and scowled, shoving his hands into his jean pockets, walking to the doors and kicking the trash can by the door on his way out. Chatter resumed and Sheen, holding his tray, eyed Jimmy, whose hand was still upright on the table, both feet on the bench ready to launch over. Jimmy smiled sheepishly and sat back down normally. Sheen sat down beside him and Carl giggled silently.

* * *

Jimmy's eyes unglazed and he read again the first bullet on the list.

_1. Dump Nick Dean_

It was checked off in bold red. This list was the wish list of Cindy Vortex before her death. And apparently, she was able to fulfill her first wish two weeks before her death. Jimmy's eyes trailed down to number two on her list. He read this part many times before, but could not get over it. It was very simple yet so powerful. And he didn't understand it at all.

_2. Tell Jimmy the truth_

* * *

It was storming hard outside, rain pounding in sheets and thunder echoing in the small neighborhood. Jimmy was cozy inside his warm clubhouse, drinking hot chocolate and awaiting the results of his genetic plant transfer, listening to nature's tempest and glad that he was wrapped up and safe inside.

His gaze turned to the screen monitors. A figure stood outside of the clubhouse doorway, no umbrella or anything to protect itself from the rainstorm. Jimmy was definitely creeped out. It just stood, gazing at the security camera, masked in darkness and indistinguishable. Lightning flashed and Jimmy knew immediately who it was. Hurrying to let the person in, he rushed to the door and threw it open, exclaiming breathlessly, "Cindy!"

Cindy stepped inside and shivered uncontrollably, though he could see she did not care. She was a mess, and this was the first time he had seen her since she had been absent for days from school. Jimmy wrapped her in a spare blanket, leading her inside the lab. She sat down opposite of Jimmy, and neither of them spoke.

Jimmy was the first to break the silence. "So... umm... what have you been up to?" Cindy did not respond. "Is everything okay with Nick and all? He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Cindy blinked, and moved her mouth, opening and closing repeatedly, though no sound came out. Finally, a meek, hoarse, whisper issued.

"I want to tell you the truth Jimmy but I can't. But I think you always knew." Jimmy gaped, his lips slightly parted, but he became self conscious and closed his mouth. He swallowed a few times then, waited for more. There came none.

"A-, a- all right then." He said nervously. Cindy looked unerringly at him.

"I love you. And I hate you. I can't tell you why but I'm telling you I just do." She stood and bundled up Jimmy's blanket, tossing it onto the chair she just sat on. Cindy then walked under where the tube should allow her leave. "I would like to leave now." She said simply.

Jimmy stood and looked at her amazed, then crestfallen. So many emotions contorted his face that you could say that he looked confused. Then, decisively and simply he said "If you must." The tube dropped down onto her. "But thank you for telling the truth."

"I didn't tell you the truth." Cindy said bluntly. Before Jimmy could question her further, she was vacuumed up to the outside.

Jimmy felt strange. He didn't know what he should feel. So he let it go, fell back into a chair, and sipped more hot cocoa.

* * *

The final entry on the list:

_3. Tell Jimmy you love him_

Jimmy curled into himself. The second bullet was not checked off. And it never would. But she did say that Jimmy already knew. He didn't, but he found out.

Cindy had died by drowning in a flash flood. Officially it had been labeled as suicide. Jimmy had been the last one to see her before her death. Cindy's motivation was soon discovered as an unwanted pregnancy because of rape. Unable to get an abortion and not wanting a teen pregnancy, she did what she thought was the swiftest and easiest method.

Jimmy could have helped her, but she did not tell him the truth. Jimmy could have gone back in time, but she made him promise to never go back in time again. Or forward. So Jimmy had been working on another way. He had been ever since he learned what happened. His life had been ruined completely in a search to save Cindy's life. So had Nick's, who Jimmy came down upon unmercifully and justly.

It had been one week since Cindy's death, and it had just been her funeral, but because Jimmy had slowed down time in order to find something to save her, it had been three years. Jimmy was forever changed, and forever hoping for that one solution to change what has been to what could have been, and end this nightmare.

But if he does find the cure, so ends his life, and the one he has known before this all occurred (the part he will now change). So for this to be a happy ending, it is here it ends.

* * *

THE END

A/N: Hey! Thanks for reading to the end! I was unsure when the content got a bit darker but it just wrote itself. This story is also kind of similar to "Beneath the Surface" but my alternate endings may be posted as chapters later on. But I'm thinking I may drop it entirely. Tell me whatcha' think, and I hope you enjoyed reading it!


	2. Alternate Ending

Chapter Two: Alternate Ending/ Song

Disclaimer: I do not own Jimmy Neutron.

A/N: Well, I've decided to try my alternate ending with my inspiration that began it all. "If You Could Only See." by Tonic. Yes, it's a songfic, but hey, I love songs! Thank you so much for all your kind reviews! Enjoy!

Jimmy knew that he would be discovered. But he did not know it would be from his once two best friends, Sheen and Carl.

It was on a sunny day nearing his fifth year when Sheen came to apologize. Jimmy by then had long since forgiven him and had refused to let them into the club house. Refused, the two waited for Jimmy to come out of his lab. When Jimmy was called in for dinner and left, they investigated for anything unusual to explain Jimmy's behavior.

When Jimmy returned, Carl and Sheen were resting with their backs on a table, Sheen glaring at him, Carl looking guilty at the ground, unable to meet his gaze. Jimmy looked in horror at the destroyed lab. Equipment was saturated and fizzing electronic sparks. Damaged screens were blacked out and clutter of papers spread out on the floor. _The time-slower_, Jimmy thought. _Where is-_

"Looking for this?" Sheen pulled out the metallic remote from behind, holding it poised above a puddle of water at a dangerous height. "Tell me Jimmy, why is this so important to you?" Sheen asked with an edge in his voice. The remote tipped between his thumb and forefinger.

"Please Sheen, no." Jimmy pleaded, frightened.

_If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do  
_

Those wretched four years would be for nothing if the remote was destroyed.

_If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
when she says she loves me_

"Tell me why... or else." Why was Sheen doing this to him? Jimmy hesitated, and then realized something. After the funeral, Libby had been acting almost vulgar to Sheen, as if she were taking the place of Cindy's continuous taunts. Jimmy didn't notice then but now, only because he wanted to, he saw. That must be the same with Libby. She did not know that she was hurting Sheen because she didn't want to.

Was that the same with Cindy?

_Well you got your reasons  
and you got your lies  
and you got your manipulations  
they cut me down to size_

Jimmy's eyes were glazed over, drawn into the past and what it was. Then he remembered what had brought him into this; this hell hole. She had left. She had abandoned him; all of them. She was a coward, unable to face what she had done, and had taken the easier path.

_Saying you love but you don't  
you give your love but you won't  
_

Jimmy shook himself out of his reverie. He was out of it. And Sheen noticed, a scowl appearing at the corner of his lips. He was still waiting for his reason. And Jimmy just looked pitifully at him, uncertain of his decision, his sacrifice, to one person who may not deserve it.

_If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do  
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
When she says she loves me  
_

Sheen sighed, gave him a glance that said, _This is for your own good, _and dropped it. It fell with a small splash into the water, screamed electronic charges and sparks, and then died; dimming like how one's eyes closes when post extremis. Time clicked back into place; Jimmy grunted, and fell to his knees, fatigued and nauseated by the time withdrawal and pressure. It felt like spinning on a merry-go-round and suddenly letting go. He lifted his head and looked in disbelief and betrayal at Sheen, and rage at Carl, who had just stood in the sidelines letting it all happen. _How could they. _

_Seems the road less traveled  
Show's happiness unraveled  
and you got to take a little dirt  
to keep what you love_

Sheen looked ... smug, like he enjoyed what he just did. Carl nudged him, beseeching that they should go. But they couldn't go anywhere unless Jimmy allowed them.

Jimmy snickered under his breath. They weren't going anywhere. All their lives; ruined. He was going to take them down with him. "Well done boys. It seems like you've finally gotten my attention. But it also seems that you have lost your only exit." Jimmy rose to his feet, his eyes like slits and a malicious grin on his face.

_That's what you got to do_

Carl looked fearfully at Jimmy. He was serious. And Carl was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Jimmy, stop it." Carl said, his voice quivering. Jimmy kept approaching, driven as if possessed.

_Saying' you love but you don't  
you give your love but you won't  
you're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there  
Saying' you love where you stand  
Give your heart when you can_

Jimmy's grin widened. He would take them with him. Take them with him to see her. Then he could be happy again. Spotting a pipe on the floor, he walked towards it, swooped it up, and headed towards them. Sheen's smugness was wiped off quickly replaced with astonishment. Jimmy had changed. He had lost it.

Carl bit his lip, and looked at Sheen, who was gaping but paralyzed. And then he looked to Jimmy, who was chuckling to himself, gripping the pipe like an iron rod. Carl couldn't take this anymore. He wanted his friends back, to be friends again. He had enough.

Jimmy raised the pipe over his head, but before it could come thrusting down Carl had wrapped his arms around him, holding him still. Jimmy was unable to move.

"Jimmy, listen, please. Sheen just wants you back. I want you back too. You have to let Cindy go. She's gone. That's what she decided. Please Jimmy, we miss you." Carl buried himself in Jimmy's shirt that was becoming wet with his tears. "Please."

Jimmy stood blankly for second, wavering. Then his grip slipped on the pipe, dropping with a harsh thud. He hugged Carl back. Jimmy had almost committed homicide. On his best friends. He felt so ashamed, and yet, he wished he had pulled through. It... would have been much easier.

Maybe, just maybe, this is what happened to Cindy. She stopped herself just a second after it was too late. Maybe she had wanted to live. But she did not have someone there to stop her. Yet that was Cindy. This is Jimmy. He did have someone to stop him. He lived. And she didn't.

...Jimmy just wished he could have been that one person to stop her.

_If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do  
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
When she says she loves me_

The End

* * *

A/N: I hoped you like it! There's not that much I can say on it, but hopefully you can! Thanks for reading. 

Elynsynos


End file.
